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the 100 approaches log of kleibniz
#1
I will commit to 100 approaches in the coming months. Keep in mind I am in my 30's and I have had approach anxiety all my life. I had a decent intimate life but mostly I met girls that were at or below my SMV and I met them by chance, not in a controlled fashion.

Here is why I want to target 100 approaches:
  • I want to measure the behavior, not the results (detachment)
  • I want to avoid settling again with a girl that does not respect me as me, 100 approaches should force me to march through any "pretty" or "amazing" girl and not stop going until I hit 100
  • I want to improve the quality of the girls I sleep with. I can definitely go for 8's or 9's given my SMV, no doubt my inner game is the issue here, nothing else
  • I will collect real stats for everybody to see the type of results we can get from direct and indirect game

I am currently in Krakow and I met Tigero from this forum already (hi Tigero!). Also I have started the 6 months transformation program with Steve.

Here is my definition of an approach:
  • If it's direct (i.e. you look amazing) it's an approach no matter what happens, even if I eject after 5 seconds
  • If it's indirect it's an approach if she hooks, asks me at least 1 question, and the conversation lasts longer than 2 minutes

Here is my approach strategy:
  • Direct with IOI's or anyway not spammy  or indirect open
  • Authentic conversation and let her know me (I have lots of passions, goals, good job, sports, etc.)
  • Close with number
Note 1: this will have to be a crescendo. I don't intend to super charge my anxiety by going from 0 to 50 approaches per week. So right now if I do 5-6 approaches per week I am happy.

Note 2: I am terrified by direct game and mildly terrified by indirect. In general I am terrified by the whole idea of having to approach 100 girls. But I really want to fix this. Even if I get no laid out of this I still think changing my limiting beliefs and getting reference experiences will be an enormous improvement.
Note 3: for many people 100 approaches is not much and I agree, in theory it's not. But I rarely see journals running up to that number. Instead I see a lot of unrealistic targets that eventually don't work out. I rather go for a smaller target and then increase later once I reach this one. I wanted to target 1,000 approaches but I think for a beginner like me that's likely to just add stress and increase the chance of me dropping out
Note 4: I will rate the girls I approach but I feel very uneasy about this. I respect girls and I think they are amazing beings. I will keep the ratings simply because I did notice a big difference in my inner thoughts between approaching a 6-7 and an 8-9. But please let's try to keep this thread as respectful as possible and avoid nasty comments. I will start from lower ratings because again I want to do things in crescendo and not supercharging my anxiety.


1) 1/07/2020 
  • Where: Tram
  • Rate: 6 or 7
  • Type: indirect
  • Open: asked about tram direction
  • Interest: she was really interested, she asked 2-3 questions
  • Thoughts before approach: she looks moody, she seems very serious, she'll blow me of
  • Thoughts after approach: actually she was very warm and enjoyed our conversation
  • Close: no close, I ejected when my stop came, she clearly was surprised by how quickly I ejected

2) 1/24/2020 
  • Where: Bar/Club
  • Rate: 5 or 6
  • Type: indirect
  • Open: asked her if her big group was an erasmus group
  • Interest: she was really interested, she asked 2-3 questions
  • Thoughts before approach: she will be bothered, her friend and her are talking and don't want to be interrupted
  • Thoughts after approach: actually she was very warm and enjoyed our conversation. I felt a lot better after this chat, in fact I still feel in positive mood even this morning.
  • Close: no close, I wasn't too attracted although in other times I would have gone for it (I have 2-3 plates spinning). She came to me to say "bye" before heading out, clearly interested.
3) 1/25/2020 
  • Where: At the traffic light
  • Open: asked her if I had to push the traffic light button to get the green (pretty bad, I know...)
  • Rate: 7
  • Type: indirect
  • Thoughts after approach: not feeling great the first 5 mins after being blown off. But completely forgot it after 10 mins. This is KEY, a lot of times we get stuck thinking a hard rejection will hurt us for life, reality is 5 mins is all it takes to get over it
  • Close: not even a look, completely blown off, the interaction lasted like 10 seconds
  • Note: normally this approach would not count as an approach. But since this is the first time I get blown off I wanted to add it here
4) 1/26/2020 
  • Where: Coffee Shop
  • Open: asked her if she lived in Belgium
  • Rate: 7.5
  • Type: indirect
  • Thoughts after approach: my brain is melting. This is a 20 years old girl, pretty, smiley, talking to me, a stranger, for like 1 full hour.
  • Close: number close
  • Note: Yes her number will probably flake, but she was interested and she would have spent even more time with me (I had to go to another date). I was just getting physical with her and even then, she let me! She was completely OK with it! I am a bit bittered by this, why did I not start this journey transformation 5-10 years ago! Anyway, I continue to have AA, will continue to work my way to 100 approaches

5) 1/28/2020 
  • Where: Event (Intellectual type)
  • Open: just started talking to the group and then to her (group approach)
  • Rate: 8
  • Type: indirect
  • Close: no
  • Note: I thought it was going well but then she broke off to go for a beer, cannot yet understand what I did wrong. I did some light touching but I think I was too agreeable. How do I challenge them at a "chill" event without being a jerk though?

6) 1/02/2020 
  • Where: Club
  • Open: just started talking to her (group approach)
  • Rate: 8
  • Type: indirect
  • Close: no
  • Note: nice long (20-30 mins) conversation but no sexual vibe. She left to go talk to another guy

7) 1/02/2020 
  • Where: Club
  • Open: I went there and said "you are beautiful" and then I run(group approach)
  • Rate: 7
  • Type: direct
  • Close: no
  • Thoughts before approach: I am terrified! She will tell me a million guys told her the same thing, it's a tired line, go away
  • Thoughts after approach: my brain is melting again. She was happy and really receptive, I could see she wanted me to stay longer.
  • Close: number close
  • Note: she was happy to hear me, she then came close to me probably to help me approach again. She was a 7 but really smiley and with good attitude

8) 2/02/2020 
  • Where: Club
  • Open: It's hot in there (I am not joking, that's what I said). After a brief IOI I met her outside the club and I "opened" her
  • Rate: 7.5 (would be 8.5 for me is she was >=1.7m tall but she is not, more like 1.6)
  • Type: indirect I guess
  • Thoughts before approach: I am terrified! She was really pretty and dressed up fancy. Also I had serious doubts about her IOI, I thought she just looked at me because I am tall and kind of was in her way walking
  • Thoughts after approach: this stuff works. You need to apply yourself to truly believe it though, it's hard to believe this stuff truly works when you are reading it on a laptop.
  • Close: yes. Number closed, she told me also to contact her after we exchanged numbers
  • Note: she is moved here quite recently so maybe that was made her more receptive to my attention? We'll see if she flakes

9) 12/02/2020 
  • Where: Supermarket
  • Open: this salad does not look fresh
  • Rate: 6.5
  • Type: indirect
  • Close: No. Blowout

10) 14/02/2020 
  • Where: Night Club
  • Open: I saw you dancing and I liked it
  • Rate: 8
  • Type: direct
  • Close: No. Blowout

11) 14/02/2020 
  • Where: Night Club
  • Open: You look nice tonight (or something like that)
  • Rate: 8
  • Type: direct
  • Close: No. Blowout

12) 18/02/2020 
  • Where: Tram Stop
  • Open: You also moved to Krakow? (she was talking in English to a friend)
  • Rate: 7.5
  • Type: indirect
  • Close: No.

13) 18/02/2020 
  • Where: Traffic Light
  • Open: I see polish people don't cross with red light!
  • Rate: 7.5
  • Type: indirect
  • Close: No.
  • Notes: This one could have been a close, she told me she lived a while in Italy and it was a nice interaction. Improve: next time I should just tell she is beatiful and try to stop her and talk 5-10 mins more.
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#2
This guy will be legit in short time.
His AA is hillarious and he can laugh about it... whitch remineded me of my strugle with AA.

I will show him some of the best Cracow can give Smile
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#3
Ha ha, thanks Tigero. I hope I can get past AA the way you did!
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#4
Thanks for starting this. Always good to know there's others going through the same struggle that you are Smile
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#5
I have done a 2nd approach (yeah...). Yes it's picking up slowly but I am noticing some momentum. I am still doing online gaming and I want to get out of it somewhat soon. I definitely have to start approaching 7's and 8's, there was 1 last night but I just couldn't. Also the 2 approaches I did so far were indirect, easy and obvious, girls were near me and I just throw a sentence at them with low risk.
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#6
...and you open them up. One gave me a card - shes a dance instructor. I'm sorry for stealint it and turning conversation to polish... i realize that after the fact.
But dont worry thay where whey belov your capabilieties...
constant is change...
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#7
(01-24-2020, 09:08 AM)Tigero Wrote: ...and you open them up. One gave me a card - shes a dance instructor. I'm sorry for stealint it and turning conversation to polish... i realize that after the fact. 
But dont worry thay where whey belov your capabilieties...

Absolutely no issue! I was happy to let it go since I was trying to manage my AA and open another set of 3 with a hot one I liked (of course I didn't manage to do that but that's on me).

Yes one of the two came back to me to say bye and was standing awkwardly in front of me for 2-3 mins before leaving. On a side note, I didn't know girls could get that obvious in chasing you. It was a fun experience. 
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#8
On my approach 8) I need to add few more things. First of all, Steve, the IOI thing is true, they are much easier to open after even a brief IOI. Then for me the biggest challenge is not to assume anything about them _before_ talking to them. This one in particular looked pretty fancy and my thoughts were like: she is not your type, she won't be interested, and so on. It turned out she was a pretty normal girl with a normal job that liked to dress fancy.

Then normally I throw hooks to see if they ask me questions. I say something like "I lived in xyz country for x years. I did such and such trip. If they don't ask questions I know I need to move on. One thing I noticed yesterday is that hooks are not enough. When I "discovered" her interest in a particular language which I also had the conversation _completely_ changed and we started to vibe together. So note to self, hooks & connections, not just hooks!

One thing I am wondering is what do you do once you get a nr? You continue game in that venue?
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#9
(02-02-2020, 08:10 AM)Kleibniz ***VIP User*** Wrote: On my approach 8) I need to add few more things. First of all, Steve, the IOI thing is true, they are much easier to open after even a brief IOI. Then for me the biggest challenge is not to assume anything about them _before_ talking to them. This one in particular looked pretty fancy and my thoughts were like: she is not your type, she won't be interested, and so on. It turned out she was a pretty normal girl with a normal job that liked to dress fancy.

Then normally I throw hooks to see if they ask me questions. I say something like "I lived in xyz country for x years. I did such and such trip. If they don't ask questions I know I need to move on. One thing I noticed yesterday is that hooks are not enough. When I "discovered" her interest in a particular language which I also had the conversation _completely_ changed and we started to vibe together. So note to self, hooks & connections, not just hooks!

One thing I am wondering is what do you do once you get a nr? You continue game in that venue?
Ah! I should have kept my eye on this.
As per my reply on email : 

Re dates and numbers in venue...I tend to want to get solid numbers so
I wouldn't run around the venue if other girls can see you.  However
if it's a larger venue less of an issue.

If you liked her though why not stick with her? I lean that way
nowadays...It's much less gamey and much more human.  Good for your
mental health and self esteem.

I wouldn't try to live up to an idealised version of a "player".
Do you actually want to make progress with your goals : aesthetic, business, women, fitness?  Check out the Secret Society VIP Members Club.
Check it out
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#10
Yo!

Here is the video on best practice for dates : 



Do you actually want to make progress with your goals : aesthetic, business, women, fitness?  Check out the Secret Society VIP Members Club.
Check it out
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#11
Amazing transformation, Kliebinz and looking forward to reading your approaches. Quite bold and inspiring.

Keep it up! Rooting for you from Norway. If you come up north, do write to me (and I'll do the same if I'm in Krakow).

All the best!
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#12
(02-08-2020, 11:18 PM)Vikhammer Wrote: Amazing transformation, Kliebinz and looking forward to reading your approaches. Quite bold and inspiring.

Keep it up! Rooting for you from Norway. If you come up north, do write to me (and I'll do the same if I'm in Krakow).

All the best!

You know I want to come one day to do some kayaking over there. Terrible idea for gaming I know, but I read there are some nice glaciers in Norway!
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#13
Night of 14-15 of February was interesting. I managed to do 2 direct approaches thanks to an approach game my wingman came up with. Then 3 girls hit on me. The first time 2-3 of them came at me quite strongly because I took my sweater off, anyway I did not know what to do so I did nothing. One girl I was talking to asked my name/contact. Anyway I guess I need to figure out how to react better to unpredicted events.
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