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Cold approaching solo
#1
What problems do you guys face cold approaching girls solo?
This could be in the game thread.  But I cannot think of anything else to post here right now!
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#2
(10-18-2019, 11:08 AM)SteveJabba Wrote: What problems do you guys face cold approaching girls solo?
This could be in the game thread.  But I cannot think of anything else to post here right now!

Hi Steve, first post here too, so thanks for setting up the forum.

Solo cold approach hmm. Well I may be a far from typical here but approaching shits me right up. Did some approaches the other day for the first time in years and well, it took a lot of energy out of me. Anxiety through the fucking roof. My mind was doing all it can to make me not approach. The negative inner critic had almost never been so vocal.

This prevented me from approaching properly. I am considering taking Propranolol to see if that helps.
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#3
(10-18-2019, 09:57 PM)Kieran Wrote:
(10-18-2019, 11:08 AM)SteveJabba Wrote: What problems do you guys face cold approaching girls solo?
This could be in the game thread.  But I cannot think of anything else to post here right now!

Hi Steve, first post here too, so thanks for setting up the forum.

Solo cold approach hmm. Well I may be a far from typical here but approaching shits me right up. Did some approaches the other day for the first time in years and well, it took a lot of energy out of me. Anxiety through the fucking roof. My mind was doing all it can to make me not approach. The negative inner critic had almost never been so vocal.

This prevented me from approaching properly. I am considering taking Propranolol to see if that helps.

Hello mate and welcome.  Just a couple of notes on this!

Firstly I think it's very typical.  Of all the issues and problems guys face, AA is the most well understood.  It's the 1 thing that I will admit PUA's and dating coaches can handle really well. 

It''s always tough when you're out of practice or have never approached before. BUT - it is 100% the case that once you get going it gets easier. I've seen it time and again in training sessions and experienced it myself.

At the end of the day you gotta nut it out and push through it. Not too far into an approaching session it gets easier and you can actually start enjoying it!  

I added some new content to Secret Society a few days ago with a drill for approach anxiety in an approaching session which addresses this. So if you've got access I'd recommend logging back in and checking it out! 

Best of luck!
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#4
For me AA was like 17 years madness... now its 2 years after my divorce and 1 year after „unpluging”
First i did some tinder game so my notch count rised quick.. and gave me some confidance, whitch led me to some of the best pickups in my life so far an it was cold aprouch but i was not fully awere of what I was doing at that time.
From my ‚newbie’ point of view, the best results i am getting when i have a buddy to just show of my new skill. But its almost always in the night game.
Solo daygame is in baby steps at this point. But what i can say is that all the stuff about it that Steave put in Primal Sedduction is absolutly correct to my past experiences.
I always had some Red ligt in my Head watching spam approuches...


Anyway overcomming AA mixed with strong sexual desire to a girl is one of the best felings Man can get and its worth any amount of stress inlvolved... so you should just do this...
constant is change...
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#5
Thanks both.

Yes I will give it my best shot. I would like to get into the headspace where I feel my mood/state is not the whim of a woman's acceptance/rejection. I certainly don't have these issues with men lol.

Steve, is there scope or having a members log section? Could be good for members to post about their progress etc
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#6
(10-20-2019, 03:52 PM)Kieran Wrote: Thanks both.

Yes I will give it my best shot. I would like to get into the headspace where I feel my mood/state is not the whim of a woman's acceptance/rejection. I certainly don't have these issues with men lol.

Steve, is there scope or having a members log section? Could be good for members to post about their progress etc

It's already there. 
It's called "Journals" with "chart your progress here" as the description.
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#7
This might sound odd but i am actually doing worse with a wing. Maybe it's because my wing was a really extroverted guy and our energy levels are incompatible. He was a good guy don't get me wrong but for me going out solo is a preference until i meet a wing who is more compatible with me. So im wondering is it common for guys with sigma tendencies to experience what i've experienced?
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#8
(10-22-2019, 03:16 PM)TurkishSheikh Wrote: This might sound odd but i am actually doing worse with a wing. Maybe it's because my wing was a really extroverted guy and our energy levels are incompatible. He was a good guy don't get me wrong but for me going out solo is a preference until i meet a wing who is more compatible with me. So im wondering is it common for guys with sigma tendencies to experience what i've experienced?

I can only speak for myself and I haven't had many wings.  The problem I have found is that it's usually you that has to provide the value and energy.  There was one guy who was superb, but overall I'd rather just be left to do my own thing and not have to rely on anyone else.  That's the problem : when you have to rely on one another.  

Unfortunately I have found Daygamers especially to be very selfish and focused on nothing but pussy. I get it, but going to the point of shitting over your mates for a girl is a big no no for me, and it's not uncommon.  I think it's best to separate your going out with mates time vs pickup time.  It's just too complicated and fraught with risk otherwise.  Too many troublesome variables.
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#9
When I was first starting out, having a wing really helped me. Having a wing helped me feel less weird, like less of a social loser.
Otherwise, getting rejected in that fragile state with low daygame confidence, it might have been too much.

Now that I've done thousands of approaches, I don't need a wing, and prefer going at it alone.

ALTHOUGH, one interesting thing, having a wing now pushes me to approach girls that are cute but not amazing. Sometimes when I daygame alone, I set standards that are too high.
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#10
It's much easier for me to just be in a club and dance with a girl, smirk, physical escalation, lead, kiss...I usually need one drink to quiet the forebrain, but one is enough. The street has this disadvantage that it's not expected behaviour, and my daily struggles in other areas affect my vibe. It's very easy to just avoid it and buy a book/eat food instead. But overcoming that initial hurdle gives you a lot of points from the girl if she's at least moderately attracted. That said, the guys she meets through other channels still exist, so it's not "easier".
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#11
I understand the “cold approaching” phase is the one where most people already drop out of daygame. That said, this phase is nicely covered on Steve’s channels, in the book, Secret Society etc. But as the “Daygame model” progresses, there is less and less material available in the community. Especially the “date-take home” phase. There were attempts by other daygamers, but their dates were often convoluted - a 12 step push-pull model with 3 venues - and also gamey. As far as I know nobody really covered the underlying principles and mindsets of “date-take home” phase well with clear progression but without forcing his own routines on the client instead of just explaining the principles and highlighting the key leaps of faith/crossing the line, key obstacles, outlining several date options, pros and cons of afternoon coffee vs. evening bar and how the models differ, whether it’s reasonable to go for just one date or even one venue and crash the car or when to go on 3 dates and how this affects the girl’s expectations...it’s  either vague “be yourself” stuff or a technical manual with Questions game, 10 step escalation ladder where the guy inspects her ass tattoos and 6 venue changes.
(I know it’s in Primal Seduction practical exercise section, but in my opinion too little details, specifics, pitfalls...)
If we consider the “street phase” is 3-15 minutes but the date may be hours, it’s weird. What’s certain is that date indecisiveness will kill all the momentum from that nailed 4 minute street interaction.
This might be just my bias but I really want to master this phase, so the previous effort is not vasted when it’s “mine to lose”. At the same time it should be as streamlined and authentic as possible, no need for a “flash date”. 
I have no doubts that when she comes out - it’s on.
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#12
(10-25-2019, 09:28 PM)Andrew Wrote: I understand the “cold approaching” phase is the one where most people already drop out of daygame. That said, this phase is nicely covered on Steve’s channels, in the book, Secret Society etc. But as the “Daygame model” progresses, there is less and less material available in the community. Especially the “date-take home” phase. There were attempts by other daygamers, but their dates were often convoluted - a 12 step push-pull model with 3 venues - and also gamey. As far as I know nobody really covered the underlying principles and mindsets of “date-take home” phase well with clear progression but without forcing his own routines on the client instead of just explaining the principles and highlighting the key leaps of faith/crossing the line, key obstacles, outlining several date options, pros and cons of afternoon coffee vs. evening bar and how the models differ, whether it’s reasonable to go for just one date or even one venue and crash the car or when to go on 3 dates and how this affects the girl’s expectations...it’s  either vague “be yourself” stuff or a technical manual with Questions game, 10 step escalation ladder where the guy inspects her ass tattoos and 6 venue changes.
(I know it’s in Primal Seduction practical exercise section, but in my opinion too little details, specifics, pitfalls...)
If we consider the “street phase” is 3-15 minutes but the date may be hours, it’s weird. What’s certain is that date indecisiveness will kill all the momentum from that nailed 4 minute street interaction.
This might be just my bias but I really want to master this phase, so the previous effort is not vasted when it’s “mine to lose”. At the same time it should be as streamlined and authentic as possible, no need for a “flash date”. 
I have no doubts that when she comes out - it’s on.

That's true enough.  But nailing the approach is where the vat majority of guys slip up, or don't even try.  Of the guys I've trained over the years, the majority are relatively confident on the date.

The date is where you open up to the girl authentically and relate.  It's where she finds out about the kind of person you are, your intrinsic confidence, self worth, personality etc..Which is amply covered in Primal Seduction.  

I could draw up a "date model" but only if the demand is there.  Perhaps a poll in the near future...
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#13
Yeah, it probably has more to do with leading the date, as you say, being respectful while still directing it towards the desired goal.
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#14
A problem I encounter is when the traffic is slow (about <2-3 sets/hour) going out solo can be quite boring. When traffic is slow I like just chilling at a coffeeshop with a wingman and just go after sets as they walk by (or what Tusk would call "lazy game").

A second problem is that I find group sets are harder without a competent and trustworthy wingman.

I don't know if this counts as a problem, but when I went out with good wingmen I loved going for drinks with them after our session sharing war stories and tips. So when I fly solo there are no after session drinks with fellow wingmen. Maybe this is more of missing a benefit rather than a problem.

Conversely, I find that an advantage of flying solo is that you have all the sets to yourself and you don't have to share sets. When I went out with a wingman with similar tastes in women as I do I find my total sets for the day go down. I've also gone out with noobs and they really slow me down. I find the best wingmen to go out with are competent, trustworthy, and have different tastes in women than you.

I think that the pros and cons of each particular wingman must be weighed to see if it is better to fly solo or to go out with that particular wingman. Is the wingman a noob (and you're experienced) and the noob has the same taste in women as you and takes all your sets? Fly solo. Is the wingman a pro and has a totally different taste in women as you? Wing with him.
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#15
Hi everyone!

Moved abroad a couple weeks ago, where nobody I know is in the least bit interested in any type of chasing girls, not to mention something as extreme as daygame. Getting myself mentally ready for any type of approaches has become really really difficult, AA is going through the roof. Guess I'll just need to find a wingman.
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