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Transitioning to solo dg when all my ref points are in bars...
#1
My first post, so if this is not the right section, feel free to berate me. 

Anyway, I have many reference points showing that a woman who makes eye contact is interested, and in a bar or club it feels quite natural to approach. 

I also know that girls who look at me during the day are interested (especially when they overhear my friend and I speaking in English -- we're in the FSU). 

But when it happens during the day, especially on the street, and there's no obvious situational opener -- especially if she's a moving target -- I freeze up, without fail. 

I know it's in my head and there's nothing objectively predatory or weird about it, because I had the same problems in bars 10 years ago when I started night-game, and eventually I got over it. I also developed "tricks" for getting into the moment at bars that don't translate that well to the street.

I guess I need to make it really easy for me to start getting reference points. 

  • Approach stationary women rather than moving targets 
  • Ask them for directions 
Once I do that a few times and I don't explode, my mind will probably stop going into fight/flight and I can either transition or use a more direct opener.
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#2
People all over the world talk to people who look at them or smile at them or just stand next to them in a queue. As you say, only in your head is there a problem. 

If they give you an IOI, it can be read as an invitation to approach. You don't have to hit on them directly. if you can't think of anything situational, just have some standard openers such as, you have good fashion sense or just you look nice. It doesn't really matter if you get an IOI.

It's an IOI, they're asking you to approach. I wouldn't limit yourself to just stationary girls, but do whatever you need to do to get the ball rolling. once you've taken action a few times, you'll probably feel more confident.    


Dominic 666

My first post, so if this is not the right section, feel free to berate me. 

Anyway, I have many reference points showing that a woman who makes eye contact is interested, and in a bar or club it feels quite natural to approach. 

I also know that girls who look at me during the day are interested (especially when they overhear my friend and I speaking in English -- we're in the FSU). 

But when it happens during the day, especially on the street, and there's no obvious situational opener -- especially if she's a moving target -- I freeze up, without fail. 

I know it's in my head and there's nothing objectively predatory or weird about it, because I had the same problems in bars 10 years ago when I started night-game, and eventually I got over it. I also developed "tricks" for getting into the moment at bars that don't translate that well to the street.

I guess I need to make it really easy for me to start getting reference points. 

  • Approach stationary women rather than moving targets 
  • Ask them for directions 
Once I do that a few times and I don't explode, my mind will probably stop going into fight/flight and I can either transition or use a more direct opener.
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